Kernels

I got free tickets to the Cedar Rapids Kernels from work, and while I'm usually not big on watching professional sports, I thought it might be fun to see some minor league baseball. Plus, the Kernels is a pretty great name. Not quite as great as the Albuquerque Isotopes, but still pretty awesome.

There were some activities we could sign up for such as throwing out the first pitch or singing the national anthem, and a bunch of games during the game for kids. The only thing that interested me was visiting the broadcast booth, so I signed up for that. A couple of days later I got a call from HR saying that my name had been drawn, and that I should show up to the customer service booth during the 4th inning and someone would take me up to the booth.

We got to the game a little late, and the Kernels were already down 4 runs. I was amazed at how tiny the Kernel's field was, and at how something so small could be so empty. The game itself wasn't very interesting, but there was a lot going on. There was Mr. Shucks, the Kernel's mascot, which is some sort of gray blob with a baseball for a head. They were also randomly giving out used cars. And not gently pre-used cars. Uuuused cars. These were the cars that had been sitting on the lot forever that they couldn't sell. It sort of reminded me of when people would win donkeys on Let's Make a Deal.

So the third inning ends and I head on over to the customer service booth where I'm escorted upstairs and told that I'm going to love John the radio guy and that I'll be great. Wait, what? "You'll be great on the radio." Again, what?? He drops me off at a tiny room over home plate where there's just a guy in headphones interviewing a guy from the Disable American Vets. And sure enough, there's a sign on the door with my name and company on it.

First off, HR kind of failed to mention that by "visit the broadcast booth" they meant "be interviewed on the radio about the company for an inning and a half." And secondly, if you're going to interview someone on the radio, you're better off choosing someone else. Anyone else. I don't like being interviewed, and when someone asks me a yes or no question, I tend to answer with a yes or no.

So after about an inning of sitting there freaking out while the radio guy talks to the DAV guy about Vietnam and the Holocaust (while simultaneously announcing the baseball game), he introduces himself and asks if I'm comfortable talking about my company of the radio for a while. You mean the company I've worked at for 6 months? Oh yeah, great.

Luckily the guy was fantastic at his job, and I was pretty comfortable talking to him. Getting me to answer in more than one word is a pretty big feat in itself. He asked me all sorts of question about my company, and lucky for him I had paid attention during my orientation and could answer most of them. Things went well until he started talking about Chet Culver (Iowa's governor). Frankly, I'd be better off talking about the Holocaust. But he ended up asking me what advice I'd give Culver to get more young people to stay in the state. And who better to ask than a Michigander.

View from the broadcast booth.


My radio debut.