Amana

We took a trip out to the Amana Colonies this past weekend, which really seemed unnecessary after having lived in Colonial Williamsburg for three years. There's only so many lectures on butter churning one can stand. But among the quilting and lithography lay unspeakable treasures to behold. Like Iowa's largest walnut rocking chair.


It's not the world's largest rocking chair, and the wording makes me wonder whether it's even Iowa's largest rocking chair. But it is pretty large.


Also large? My feet.



We wandered through several museums and shops, including one that only sold baskets and brooms. And we saw this basket exhibit.


Sadly, there were no baskets of the future.

The biggest disappointment of the day came when we tried to visit Opa's Tractor Barn Museum, but were told it would be $5 each. The only way I'm paying $5 to see a barn is if there are talking animals inside.

To infinity, and beyond! Er, nanu nanu? Wait...

Stardate: June 30, 2007. Denizens of earth converge upon Riverside, Iowa at Trek Fest, an annual celebration of all things Star Trek, in this, the future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.

We arrived in Riverside just in time for the costume contest.


I know I joked earlier about going as R2D2, but this guy clearly didn't get the joke. He came in second.


After the costume contest, pretty much everything Star Trek related was finished and Trek Fest turned into a normal small town fair. We got to watch a state fair qualifying talent show where a bunch of tiny girls in skimpy outfits, teased hair, and piles of makeup danced to raps about the big bad wolf.

There was a tractor pull, but not the giant souped up kind. It was more of a lawnmower pull.


There was also a greased pig contest, where little kids chase a greased up pig and have to put it in a bucket. It seemed fairly cruel and made us uncomfortable so we decided to leave...but not before getting my picture taken with a wooden james T. Kirk in front of the USS Riverside.


We also had to stop and see Kirk's future birthplace, which apparently is a yard in back of an abandoned barber shop.

Kernels

I got free tickets to the Cedar Rapids Kernels from work, and while I'm usually not big on watching professional sports, I thought it might be fun to see some minor league baseball. Plus, the Kernels is a pretty great name. Not quite as great as the Albuquerque Isotopes, but still pretty awesome.

There were some activities we could sign up for such as throwing out the first pitch or singing the national anthem, and a bunch of games during the game for kids. The only thing that interested me was visiting the broadcast booth, so I signed up for that. A couple of days later I got a call from HR saying that my name had been drawn, and that I should show up to the customer service booth during the 4th inning and someone would take me up to the booth.

We got to the game a little late, and the Kernels were already down 4 runs. I was amazed at how tiny the Kernel's field was, and at how something so small could be so empty. The game itself wasn't very interesting, but there was a lot going on. There was Mr. Shucks, the Kernel's mascot, which is some sort of gray blob with a baseball for a head. They were also randomly giving out used cars. And not gently pre-used cars. Uuuused cars. These were the cars that had been sitting on the lot forever that they couldn't sell. It sort of reminded me of when people would win donkeys on Let's Make a Deal.

So the third inning ends and I head on over to the customer service booth where I'm escorted upstairs and told that I'm going to love John the radio guy and that I'll be great. Wait, what? "You'll be great on the radio." Again, what?? He drops me off at a tiny room over home plate where there's just a guy in headphones interviewing a guy from the Disable American Vets. And sure enough, there's a sign on the door with my name and company on it.

First off, HR kind of failed to mention that by "visit the broadcast booth" they meant "be interviewed on the radio about the company for an inning and a half." And secondly, if you're going to interview someone on the radio, you're better off choosing someone else. Anyone else. I don't like being interviewed, and when someone asks me a yes or no question, I tend to answer with a yes or no.

So after about an inning of sitting there freaking out while the radio guy talks to the DAV guy about Vietnam and the Holocaust (while simultaneously announcing the baseball game), he introduces himself and asks if I'm comfortable talking about my company of the radio for a while. You mean the company I've worked at for 6 months? Oh yeah, great.

Luckily the guy was fantastic at his job, and I was pretty comfortable talking to him. Getting me to answer in more than one word is a pretty big feat in itself. He asked me all sorts of question about my company, and lucky for him I had paid attention during my orientation and could answer most of them. Things went well until he started talking about Chet Culver (Iowa's governor). Frankly, I'd be better off talking about the Holocaust. But he ended up asking me what advice I'd give Culver to get more young people to stay in the state. And who better to ask than a Michigander.

View from the broadcast booth.


My radio debut.

Prepare your mind...for a mind explosion!

Meet Joe Exotic:


Joe likes magic, animals, mullets, and talking about his dead brother.

Joe hates drunk driving, female assistants, and PETA.

Joe has a travelling magic show that he takes to malls across the country where he amazes crowds with amazing feats and teaches kids about the dangers of drinking and driving. Oh, and did I mention that there are tigers? There are tigers.


We traversed the sea of PETA protestors (and by sea, I mean 7) to see Joe perform what can only be described as the greatest show on earth at the Sycamore Mall.


Joe appeared on stage with an explosion and some bad 80s rock music (not quite The Final Countdown, but almost as good). Here he is doing Houdini's metamorphasis with his male assistant:


Joe doesn't just perform tricks like other magicians. He uses his talents to teach kids important lessons about drug use and drinking and driving. You see, Joe's brother was killed by a drunk driver, which is very sad, but he likes to talk about it. A lot. In fact, he even wrote a song about it. And by song I mean he talks over the music from Forrest Gump.

After the show you could pay to pet the baby tigers who were set up in one of the vacant stores in the mall. We didn't do this, but I did enjoy that the store was decorated with fake tiger skins.


Magic show + mall + tigers = awesome.

Arts Festival

We went to the Iowa City Arts Festival, which served as my annual reminder that I can't afford to buy art (but when I can, one of these David Leeper sculptures is at the top of my list).

Art festivals are always good for people watching, which is what I was doing when Amber made this amazing find:


My other favorite thing was this pig walking around from Iowa State Bank & Trust urging people to "lose the pig" (get rid of their piggy banks and enroll in some program)...by handing out little plastic piggy banks.

all the fun at work.

Ok, so there generally isn't much fun at work. But here are some pictures anyway.

This is the pile of stuff I've accumulated that I don't know what to do with. I'm trying to see how high I can stack it before it falls on my head and I can start collecting worker's comp.


Better living through post-its.


The bane of my existence. I once calculated how much it would cost to keep the office in candy for a year: $750. Buy your own damn candy; the dish is now donations only.


How I feel every day.


I made an xkcd inspired sign for the archive room door.


Up close.


I showed it to one of the supervisors and he laughed and had me make him a copy to hang in his office. I don't think anyone else in the office has seen it yet.

chalk the walk

Last Sunday we went to the second annual Chalk the Walk in Mt. Vernon, where artists create chalk drawings on the street.


The things these people could do with chalk were amazing.


There was also a giant recreation of Georges Seurat’s painting “Sunday Afternoon on the Island of Grand Jatte” (and yes, I had to look that up) that was gridded off into 2x2 squares that you could buy for $10 and chalk yourself.


I like art, but I'm pretty much lacking in any sort of artistic ability. When I draw animals I have to give them speech bubbles so you know what kind of animals they are. An example of a bird:


I figured I couldn't do any worse than the 5 year olds drawing with chalk, so we bought a square. The woman tried to sell us 2, then gave the second to us for free anyway after we refused because they were so far behind - upgrade!

Our fancy chalk set.


Amber goes to work.


It's all about the blending.


Damn, we're good.


Me with our finished work.


A perk of art for me is that it gives you an excuse to get covered in whatever medium you're working with, and the chalk was no exception. My hands were green for the rest of the day.

As a bonus, on the way home we drove by two giant giraffe sculptures in front of the ugliest house ever.


The bigger giraffe has a picture frame around its neck. I drove by a similar giraffe in someone's front yard when I got lost in Iowa City once. It had a wreath around its neck. I'll have to try to find it again. I feel there may be more out there, all with random objects around their necks.